The chair Fucker Transcription:
This is my favorite chair. This is my fucking chair. I’m gonna fuck this chair just like as if she were a woman. I’m gonna fuck the chair. Right between the legs. I’m gonna show ya, I’ve already gotten my girlfriend’s arm layed out there. They’re spreading their legs for me, but they’ll never let me between their legs, they just want to show me what’s between their legs, and then watch while I fuck the chair. Now I’m down on my knees, I’m gonna I’m gonna fuck the chair doggy style. I’m not.. I’m not really hard yet, but that’s OK because the chair doesn’t mind. I’m gonna let me fuck her with a little limp penis if I don’t get hard, but I think I’m gonna get hard. This part’s the foreplay. I’m not really fucking the chair yet. I’m just rubbing my penis against its leg. Getting it warmed up, so to speak. Oh yes. Ooo yes. I know the chair wants me to fuck it. Ohh yes. Ooooo. I’m gonna fuck the chair, I’m gonna make her moan just like a woman. MMMhmm. OOoohhh, I’m gonna fuck this chair. Oh yes. Ooo. You know, she might be ready for me. She might be ready. Can I put it between her legs now? Yeah she, she says I can. OOhh, mm yes. I put it right between her legs. Oooo. I’m fucking in and out of her legs. Ohh yes, I’m fucking the chair. Mm oh that feels so good. Push my penis back and forth between her legs like this, mmm. Oh yes, mm. Makes me moan OOhhh. This is just like fucking a woman. OOhhh, oh, I wish my penis were big enough to fuck a woman. Oh Oh, I wish I could push it in and out just like that. Oh I’d make it go so deep, oh so deep inside her. She would moan, oh. Uhh. Uhh. But its too small. Girls won’t let me really fuck them. All they’ll let me do is just kneel down and fuck a chair. Oh, its so embarrassing to be a chair fucker. Oh yes. Oh. It feels good, too. I like to fuck chairs. Oh I like to fuck chairs, oh yes. This is my favorite chair, OH I like to fuck this chair. Oh yes I do. Oh yes I do. Oh. I like to fuck it and turn it this ways. Like this. Ah yes. MMhm and let it down the leg. Yes. And then, between it’s legs. Oh that’s the best part. Fucking between the legs. Oh. Oh yes. I like to fuck, fuck the chair on its legs. Oh yes. Ooo. Oh. I wish there were a room full of girls watching me do this right now. Mmm. Fuck fuck the chair, boy. And they’d be giggling and laughing “look at the chair fucker! Oh look at that, yeah fuck the chair. Just like it was a girl. Just like it was one of us.” But this little dicky’s too small to fuck a real girl. So he has to fuck the chair. Yes, oh yes. Oh and sometimes the girls tease me. They reach between the chair legs and they tickle my penis. They tickle it right in the sensitive spot. And they say “come on, little dicky, fuck the chair for us. You can do it, show us what a real penis you are”. Oh fuck that chair just as if it was a real girl. I like to show them my penis tricks. I can rub it here and I can rub it here. Or I can play peek-a-boo, hide behind a leg and then pop out. Oh yes. Oh. Oh Oh I like this chair. Oh it feels so good. Right between the legs, I’m fucking the chair between her legs. Mmm can you feel it? Oh can you feel my penis going in and out? Rah. Oh it feels good to rub it too, oh. I never can keep my fingers off my penis. Oh oh, I’m such a penis addict, I’m addicted to my own penis. Oh yes. Oh penis, penis yes. Oh, oh you make me feel so good. Oh yeah. More. No, fuck the chair a little bit more. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh yes. In and out, in and out, in and out. Oh yes. Oh. Oh. Oh yes. Oh. Oh, pull my testicles all the way through, grab the sack, pull them all the way through between the legs. Oh yes. Oh that feels good. I like to scratch my sacks. Mmhmm, oh yes. Mmm, oh. Oh this would be a good way to collect sperm. Sperm bank. Let the semen donors kneel down, fuck a chair, with a little bottle right on the other side. Collect the specimen. Nurses could put a picture in front of them, of the actual female recipient whom you’re donating sperm for so they could think about her and look at her while they fuck the chair and spurt out their sample. Maybe they’d even let the woman come into the room and watch. Encourage the sperm donor to make a good donation, a good sample for her. Oh, oh yes. This is me fucking the chair right in front of the women who gonna receive our sperm, oh yes. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Oh they’d even let masturbators like me donate sperm. In fact they even prefer masturbators, because we’re perfectly happy just fucking a chair and spurting our sperm into a little bottle. We never ask for a real woman, we never run away the nurses and make sexual advances towards them, we’re perfectly happy just to wiggle our own penises and fuck the chair. Mmm. Sometimes the nurses help us, giving a little milking motions on our penis, just like it was a male teat. Just like the teat of a cow. Milk the sperm out. Oh. I love to have my little teat milked. Oh yes, oh milk my penis oh yes. Oh yes, oh yes, mmhmm. Oh. Oh yes I’m fucking the chair now. Uh huh, oh. Ooo, I wanna spurt this way, just, just me and the chair. I’m not using my hand at all. Ohh I’m just gonna fuck the chair. Oh and pretend its some of these girls I’m looking at. Oh, pretend that she’s letting me fuck them. Oh thank you for letting me fuck you. Oh, right between the legs. Ooo, I’m getting ready to let my sperm go now. Oh yes, here it comes. Oh its starting, oh its gonna go right between your legs. Oh deep inside oh yes, oh yes. Oh yes. Oh. Mmmhmm. Oh yes. Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
Hilarity? I do believe so, yes.