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DO NOT FALL INTO THE VORTEX. [13 May 2009|05:36pm]

A new, silver tongued racially diverse president. They all clapped and ran out into the streets, honked their horns in celebration like retarded, mutated two-headed sheep being led to the slaughter. Little do they know...

Do not fall into the Obama vortex. Perhaps the most difficult enemy we've faced yet.

We are still out there. The clock is still ticking and we will still prevail. Just wait until "Obama's America" goes head over heels and straight down the toilet like that huge dump I just took. Indeed.

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[24 Feb 2009|02:58pm]

Funny Pictures
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"I hear its like the ring" [07 Sep 2008|06:51pm]

(23:00:19) Sean Gregory: i have the ultimate link
(23:00:22) trunks2000 24: ok
(23:00:24) Sean Gregory: i hear its like the ring
(23:00:28) trunks2000 24: haha
(23:00:31) Sean Gregory: except you wont die or anything
(23:00:37) Sean Gregory: its just really horrible
(23:00:41) trunks2000 24: biggie small,s biggie smalls, biggie smalls?
(23:00:44) Sean Gregory: but i cant bring myself to watch it
(23:00:51) trunks2000 24: ok give me da link
(23:01:16) Sean Gregory: http://www.qinetiq.nl/entry/1041/de_ballen
(23:01:22) trunks2000 24: if its furry people fucking, i will drive to urbana and bitch slap you
(23:01:22) Sean Gregory: GODSPEED MY GOOD FRIEND
(23:01:28) Sean Gregory: post a trip report
(23:01:30) Sean Gregory: its not
(23:01:34) Sean Gregory: trust me
(23:01:39) trunks2000 24: trip report?
(23:01:44) Sean Gregory: yeah
(23:01:49) Sean Gregory: let me know how it went
(23:01:57) trunks2000 24: haha whaaat
(23:02:09) trunks2000 24: hmm german
(23:02:13) trunks2000 24: off to a strange start
(23:02:16) Sean Gregory: oh
(23:02:21) Sean Gregory: i didn't realize
(23:02:58) trunks2000 24: oh no!
(23:03:02) trunks2000 24: OMG
(23:03:12) Sean Gregory: YOU CAN DO IT
(23:03:13) Sean Gregory: MAN
(23:03:15) trunks2000 24: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhHH
(23:03:17) Sean Gregory: YOURE GONNA BE A COP
(23:03:20) trunks2000 24: HAHAHA
(23:03:25) Sean Gregory: YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS
(23:03:29) Sean Gregory: KEEP WATCHING IT
(23:03:36) trunks2000 24: yeah but id rather watch the aftermath
(23:03:40) trunks2000 24: not him really doing this
(23:03:47) Sean Gregory: youll prolly see that do
(23:04:14) trunks2000 24: im trying to get on the homicide division for my internship
(23:05:00) Sean Gregory: well this will prove your fucking worth
(23:05:07) Sean Gregory: how long is it?
(23:05:09) Sean Gregory: did you watch it all?
(23:05:41) trunks2000 24: haha hes zooming in on his wans hole
(23:05:48) trunks2000 24: ok now hes hatcheting his balls
(23:06:00) Sean Gregory: lol
(23:06:24) trunks2000 24: yayyy his penis is gone
(23:06:40) Sean Gregory: omfg
(23:06:59) trunks2000 24: he couldnt oh there it is
(23:07:03) Sean Gregory: alright
(23:07:05) trunks2000 24: ball sack is way messy
(23:07:16) Sean Gregory: patrons want to know if there is blood?
(23:07:32) trunks2000 24: not as much as youd think
(23:08:14) trunks2000 24: looks like campbells tomato paste
(23:08:23) trunks2000 24: haha the ending is funny
(23:08:27) Sean Gregory: wtf
(23:08:42) Sean Gregory: what happens??
(23:08:45) Sean Gregory: is it over?
(23:08:56) trunks2000 24: he puts his thumb into the hole where his dick was, then goes in and pusheds his severed balls out the ball sack area
(23:09:18) trunks2000 24: man he didnt thnk this thorugh, its gonna hurt when he pees
(23:09:45) Sean Gregory: david you are a fucking champion
(23:09:47) trunks2000 24: HAHA the comments are funny
(23:10:00) trunks2000 24: someone put the rolls eyes smiley face
(23:10:10) Sean Gregory: lol
(23:10:12) trunks2000 24: someone put "gay". as their response
(23:10:12) Sean Gregory: wtf
(23:10:18) Sean Gregory: HAHA
(23:10:32) trunks2000 24: " So fucking obvious fake it’s just embarressing…"
(23:10:43) Sean Gregory: what?
(23:10:48) trunks2000 24: these are the comments
(23:10:52) trunks2000 24: "WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT TOTAL FAGGOTS!!!!!!!!!"
(23:10:53) Sean Gregory: i know
(23:10:57) Sean Gregory: but did it look fake?
(23:11:10) Sean Gregory: lol
(23:11:11) trunks2000 24: no
(23:11:18) trunks2000 24: it looks painful and totally real
(23:11:24) Sean Gregory: i mean they cut off their shit it deserves a little respect
(23:11:30) trunks2000 24: well yeah, man
(23:11:33) Sean Gregory: i mean just for having the fucking nerve
(23:11:41) trunks2000 24: i mean its not my package so more power to em
(23:11:52) Sean Gregory: yeah well
(23:11:59) Sean Gregory: i still cant bring myself to watch it
(23:12:20) Sean Gregory: oh yeah basement jaxx is my new favorite band btw
(23:12:32) trunks2000 24: i saw one once where a guy cut into his peepee, and seperated his urethra from his semen hose
(23:12:41) trunks2000 24: and wacked off through a hole in his dick
(23:12:48) Sean Gregory: WHAT?
(23:12:49) trunks2000 24: yeah they are awesome
(23:12:59) trunks2000 24: i have other friends who send me weird shit too
(23:13:10) trunks2000 24: i never look it up myself yet somehow i always see weird shit
(23:13:23) trunks2000 24: you wanna see death videos? go to www.ogrish.com
(23:13:40) Sean Gregory: no
(23:13:46) Sean Gregory: i don't wanna see shit right now
(23:13:52) Sean Gregory: im fucking afraid
(23:13:56) trunks2000 24: i saw a really funny one of a obese man talking to himself as he fucked a foldable chair
(23:14:05) Sean Gregory: lol
(23:14:07) trunks2000 24: haha
(23:14:14) Sean Gregory: was this the worst?
(23:14:17) trunks2000 24: nah
(23:14:34) Sean Gregory: WHAT
(23:14:35) trunks2000 24: well i do get some sympathy pain for em at first but after i calm down im ok to wathc it
(23:14:37) Sean Gregory: WHAT
(23:14:48) Sean Gregory: whats the worst video?
(23:14:50) trunks2000 24: hmm
(23:15:07) trunks2000 24: i saw a man cut his own eye out
(23:15:19) Sean Gregory: is that the worst?
(23:15:23) Sean Gregory: is it online?
(23:15:23) trunks2000 24: im not sure
(23:15:26) trunks2000 24: theryre on par
(23:15:33) trunks2000 24: yeah but i dont have a link
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Chuck! [20 Dec 2007|01:50pm]

[ mood | bitchy ]

heh =)

Oh yeah, you're the king of smooth. How many hot pieces of ass have you bagged with that flugelhorn, smooth guitar, funky beats, and those pimpish ways?

"Por más de cinco décadas, el amor de Chuck Mangione con la música ha sido una relación apasionada caracterizada por la energía sin fin, el entusiasmo y el puro disfrute que irradia este músico al ejecutar sus temas."

This is what they wrote about you. Praise in multiple languages, pussy from even more. You mostly stuck to what you know, sleazy chicks from Hunt's Point in the Bronx, or maybe out in Canarsie... you liked being able to shag a bitch wherever the fuck you laid down your horn. You did a lot of drugs too, Chuck. Hell, I heard people would dump quaaludes and scotch whiskey down the top of your horn while you played. You just sucked them down. You were the king of smooth.

You had the best album covers, Chuck.

What the hell were you on, Chuck? Heh, you laugh it off though. It was New York in the 70s, right? Everyone was coked up and strung out.

Okay, so the 80s hit real quick. Coming clean was the new "drug." You certainly milked the fuck out of this image, didn't you, Chuck? Why the hell did you get so wholesome? I liked the sleaze-king of the late 70s, the pill-popping, reefer-smoking, liquor-pounding, pussy-shredding pimp of legend you were.

You went too far with this one, Chuck. Fans and critics alike, they all knew this was a farce. You just took your party underground, out of the spotlight. Your image was so clean you could just smell the bleach and ammonia, it backfired. Where did you go after the 80s, Chuck?

What the hell was this, Chuck?

...back the fuck up...

wow, Chuck... how much coke, seriously? Did you freebase with Richard Pryor?

I will always remember you in your glory days, Chuck. Your music of that time reflects this vibe of "endless party, endless liquor, endless hookers, endless cocaine." Neither hip-hop nor rock n' roll has anything on you, Chuck.

But where are you now?

I've heard the rumors, the "urban legends", about you, Chuck. But you are the ultimate urban legend. They say you've gone beyond incognito. You live in a quiet efficiency down in Soho blowing royalty checks in dive bars, looking for love in all the wrong places. You don't seem to age, but the world just isn't cut out for someone as smooth as you these days. Of course, this doesn't keep you from getting head-over-heels shit-faced and once in a while wiping the dust off that old flugelhorn in some dank below-ground club.

You're hoping there's a drug dealer in the audience, you really want to just mellow out on some pills and booze tonight. Sealed in a glass case in your apartment, you have one quaalude, perhaps the last remaining pharmaceutical quaalude in the world. You know this little pill was the substance that inspired, captivated, and nourished the smooth. You're time has passed, Chuck... but newer generations in third world countries will find your music. You will have a second coming, Chuck. It will never be as sweet as it was in the late '70s, but... could anything be?

See you soon, Chuck. Keep on blowing that horn.
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An update from behind enemy lines... [07 Dec 2007|02:59am]

I want to let you all know that we are still here, but we must remain shrouded in obscurity until the time is right.

If any of you that I don't know personally have Myspace pages (yeah, I know how fucking gay that Rupert-Murdoch-Owned clusterfuck is) I created a small group in the spirit of continuing SFOJ in a medium where more can get engrossed by it's infectious ideology.


Now, don't think I've forgotten about SFOJ. This is the original. This shit can't be recreated or emulated. This shit almost got deleted by the LJ authorities in 2004, and serves as a beacon of anti-censorship and absurdity for years to come.

I'll make a real update at some point. I promise.
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Where is Everybody? [05 Nov 2007|06:47pm]

Is the revolution over?
Did Bush grind you all down?
The Religious Right succeed in mind control?
What happened?
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[13 Dec 2006|12:47am]

[ mood | enraged ]

PEOPLE!! drop your soy lattes! CHUCK YOUR CHAI!! the right wing schum-rags are at it again....aparently soy milk makes fags.

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[28 Nov 2006|05:00pm]

The internet at it's finest.


read along!

The chair Fucker Transcription:

This is my favorite chair. This is my fucking chair. I’m gonna fuck this chair just like as if she were a woman. I’m gonna fuck the chair. Right between the legs. I’m gonna show ya, I’ve already gotten my girlfriend’s arm layed out there. They’re spreading their legs for me, but they’ll never let me between their legs, they just want to show me what’s between their legs, and then watch while I fuck the chair. Now I’m down on my knees, I’m gonna I’m gonna fuck the chair doggy style. I’m not.. I’m not really hard yet, but that’s OK because the chair doesn’t mind. I’m gonna let me fuck her with a little limp penis if I don’t get hard, but I think I’m gonna get hard. This part’s the foreplay. I’m not really fucking the chair yet. I’m just rubbing my penis against its leg. Getting it warmed up, so to speak. Oh yes. Ooo yes. I know the chair wants me to fuck it. Ohh yes. Ooooo. I’m gonna fuck the chair, I’m gonna make her moan just like a woman. MMMhmm. OOoohhh, I’m gonna fuck this chair. Oh yes. Ooo. You know, she might be ready for me. She might be ready. Can I put it between her legs now? Yeah she, she says I can. OOhh, mm yes. I put it right between her legs. Oooo. I’m fucking in and out of her legs. Ohh yes, I’m fucking the chair. Mm oh that feels so good. Push my penis back and forth between her legs like this, mmm. Oh yes, mm. Makes me moan OOhhh. This is just like fucking a woman. OOhhh, oh, I wish my penis were big enough to fuck a woman. Oh Oh, I wish I could push it in and out just like that. Oh I’d make it go so deep, oh so deep inside her. She would moan, oh. Uhh. Uhh. But its too small. Girls won’t let me really fuck them. All they’ll let me do is just kneel down and fuck a chair. Oh, its so embarrassing to be a chair fucker. Oh yes. Oh. It feels good, too. I like to fuck chairs. Oh I like to fuck chairs, oh yes. This is my favorite chair, OH I like to fuck this chair. Oh yes I do. Oh yes I do. Oh. I like to fuck it and turn it this ways. Like this. Ah yes. MMhm and let it down the leg. Yes. And then, between it’s legs. Oh that’s the best part. Fucking between the legs. Oh. Oh yes. I like to fuck, fuck the chair on its legs. Oh yes. Ooo. Oh. I wish there were a room full of girls watching me do this right now. Mmm. Fuck fuck the chair, boy. And they’d be giggling and laughing “look at the chair fucker! Oh look at that, yeah fuck the chair. Just like it was a girl. Just like it was one of us.” But this little dicky’s too small to fuck a real girl. So he has to fuck the chair. Yes, oh yes. Oh and sometimes the girls tease me. They reach between the chair legs and they tickle my penis. They tickle it right in the sensitive spot. And they say “come on, little dicky, fuck the chair for us. You can do it, show us what a real penis you are”. Oh fuck that chair just as if it was a real girl. I like to show them my penis tricks. I can rub it here and I can rub it here. Or I can play peek-a-boo, hide behind a leg and then pop out. Oh yes. Oh. Oh Oh I like this chair. Oh it feels so good. Right between the legs, I’m fucking the chair between her legs. Mmm can you feel it? Oh can you feel my penis going in and out? Rah. Oh it feels good to rub it too, oh. I never can keep my fingers off my penis. Oh oh, I’m such a penis addict, I’m addicted to my own penis. Oh yes. Oh penis, penis yes. Oh, oh you make me feel so good. Oh yeah. More. No, fuck the chair a little bit more. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh yes. In and out, in and out, in and out. Oh yes. Oh. Oh. Oh yes. Oh. Oh, pull my testicles all the way through, grab the sack, pull them all the way through between the legs. Oh yes. Oh that feels good. I like to scratch my sacks. Mmhmm, oh yes. Mmm, oh. Oh this would be a good way to collect sperm. Sperm bank. Let the semen donors kneel down, fuck a chair, with a little bottle right on the other side. Collect the specimen. Nurses could put a picture in front of them, of the actual female recipient whom you’re donating sperm for so they could think about her and look at her while they fuck the chair and spurt out their sample. Maybe they’d even let the woman come into the room and watch. Encourage the sperm donor to make a good donation, a good sample for her. Oh, oh yes. This is me fucking the chair right in front of the women who gonna receive our sperm, oh yes. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Oh they’d even let masturbators like me donate sperm. In fact they even prefer masturbators, because we’re perfectly happy just fucking a chair and spurting our sperm into a little bottle. We never ask for a real woman, we never run away the nurses and make sexual advances towards them, we’re perfectly happy just to wiggle our own penises and fuck the chair. Mmm. Sometimes the nurses help us, giving a little milking motions on our penis, just like it was a male teat. Just like the teat of a cow. Milk the sperm out. Oh. I love to have my little teat milked. Oh yes, oh milk my penis oh yes. Oh yes, oh yes, mmhmm. Oh. Oh yes I’m fucking the chair now. Uh huh, oh. Ooo, I wanna spurt this way, just, just me and the chair. I’m not using my hand at all. Ohh I’m just gonna fuck the chair. Oh and pretend its some of these girls I’m looking at. Oh, pretend that she’s letting me fuck them. Oh thank you for letting me fuck you. Oh, right between the legs. Ooo, I’m getting ready to let my sperm go now. Oh yes, here it comes. Oh its starting, oh its gonna go right between your legs. Oh deep inside oh yes, oh yes. Oh yes. Oh. Mmmhmm. Oh yes. Mmhmm. Mmhmm.

Hilarity? I do believe so, yes.
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The remnants? [19 Oct 2006|12:49pm]


They're onto us... but where did we go?
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Just Found The Site [12 Jun 2006|12:37pm]

Pretty cool stuff on here. Has anybody checked out the Coca Cola swastikas. Apparently Fanta was a huge seller in Nazi Germany. Of course Coca Cola is denying that they ever produced any but there are some prime examples on the web.
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Axis of evil? SFOJ could not be closer! [18 Mar 2006|02:13pm]

[ mood | Powerful ]

For weeks now, I have toiled endlessly to bring you the mathematics of the "axis of evil" that has been touted by US Presidolt Bush and his cronies. I am pleased to announce that I have found the axis, and have graphed it for easy interpretation:

Image hosting by Photobucket

SFOJ must somehow align itself with this axis, in order to be taken seriously as a lethal terrorist organization. We must meet the modern asthetics of evil; for instance, I am growing a beard somewhat akin to either a Muslim extremist, or a Latin American insurgent. I would strongly suggest that all loyal SFOJ men grow such beards, and that all our lovely SFOJ ladies gown themselves in middle eastern attire. This archetype seems to be the bullet that brings the freightened subconsciousness of America to their neo-conservative knees. One by one we will attack Americans at the heart of their pseudo-capitalist establishment. We will loiter at shopping malls and grocery stores, giving the townsfolk piercing stares and sounds of disgust. Soon they will be confined to their suburban homes by the fear we shall instill.

We will be more feared than the Canadians, who are drunk and harmless. We will be more feared than the Latino population, who are endlessly divided along country lines, not realizing that nobody cares what weak and politically unstable country their lineage hails from. We will be more feared than the blacks, who perpetuate a culture which falls far to short of anything astute enough to be evil, just violent and intellectually pointless. We will be more feared than the Jews, who really don't instill fear at all, they just bitch and moan on all those media conglomerates that they own. America fears the middle east, America fears the AXIS OF EVIL, and we must show them that we are the AXIS.
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March on, über-Soldat! [17 Feb 2006|09:43am]

[ mood | pleased ]

...sufficient for invading France!

Pictured above is a small brigade of men collectively found at a local Starbucks; sipping lattes, perusing myspace via wi-fi connection, and brightly radiating total faggotry altogether. Of course, Starbucks was quietly infiltrated, and trace amounts of Stoli were mixed in with the $4 Chai cockloate Colombian Peruvian who-fucking-cares. Not delving into the fact that $4 is far to much to pay for a drink devoid of alcohol, these men eventually opened up their ears and hearts to the nihilistic Bolshevism of SFOJ®.

Intoxicated beyond bounds, the men were shipped off to the SFOJ® Über-Soldat© death camp, where they are being trained as suicide soldiers in a war against the global state of stupidity. To complete their ostracization from the outside world, we forged a slew of rude comments and message to each's respective myspace page. Feeling suicidal inclinations, we gave them new names, new haircuts, and a bright red outlook on the world.

Their first mission is to exterminate this man:
Image hosting by Photobucket
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Negroes [16 Feb 2006|10:58pm]


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Kids these days... [16 Feb 2006|08:59am]

[ mood | predatory ]

The following is an excerpt from Dr. David Thrope:

"Jesus Christ, kids these days are such amazingly stupid little pieces of trash. It used to be that dressing up like a weirdo hipster entailed some kind of risk: you’d get called a queer at school, you’d get laughed at at the mall, and your dad would tell you to get a haircut and wipe that makeup off your face (whether you were a boy or a girl). Nowadays, hipsterism is the new normalcy, and these little sons of bitches are dressing up like ugly little bastardizations of styles worn by daring morons ten and twenty years ago. It used to warm my heart a little to walk down the street and see a really flamboyant goth or a really nutso punk, because that took a little bit of panache. So what if they looked like idiots: they were willing to face the fact that they looked like idiots with their heads held high and a “fuck you” attitude. Sure, we’d all laugh at them, but at least we could respect the fact that it took a modicum of misguided guts to earn our laughter. I’m not even complaining about shit like Hot Topic that co-opts, repackages, and shits out obsolete rebellion. The Hot Topic era is over. Now you can get co-opted, repackaged rebellion at J.C. goddamn Penney.

It was okay to see a stupid-looking goth around town once in a while. Now I see stupid-looking pseudo-emo-goth-hipster-cheerleader-hick pieces of shit left and right. The same kind of uncreative sludge that would have been listening to The Goo Goo Dolls a decade ago has decided to grab the arty-looking-kid baton, once the property of misfits, outcasts, and creative individuals, and just fucking run with it. "

We can probably find examples within minutes on myspace, perhaps in the vast abyss of icons that come up in "View All My Friends". These newjacks must be ridiculed for not only liking really awful music, but for affixing themselves to a scene that was cool back in 2002-2003. They're the 15 year old guys that talk shit in their quasi-prepubescent voice, only doing so because mom's minivan will soon arrive for a quick getaway. Days before, they traded in their Abercrombie preworn tee and white K-Swiss for a Saves the day shirt, women's jeans, and diesel shoes. I don't think music has ever been so attached to this "look" which idiots propagate.

Newjacks: Go back in your closet, and put on those preppy clothes. Stay within the areas you're safe at: Shopping malls, fast food parking lots, highschool, Oneighty(R), keggers with fellow preps, etc. Don't you dare to form some musical perversion with other newjacks. I don't want to even know of any other third rate shithead (would've been popular with about 60 kids three years ago) type band.


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Ur scary [15 Feb 2006|11:55pm]

[ mood | drunk ]

In Pakistan this woman's husband brutally attacked her because he alleged she had been unfaithful and brought shame to the family. He cut off her ears, tongue, and nose, gouged out her eyes, and left her for dead.

Image hosting by Photobucket

But there's some good news...
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.
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Where's your fucking blood? [15 Feb 2006|07:57pm]

[ mood | drunk ]

Bump, shitheads.

This motherfucking community needs to get back together. We've been broken by society and personal problems! Rally round the flags, boys and girls.

How do you make a toddler cry twice? Put your bloody cock on his teddy bear.

I think we should all do an offensive pic campaign. I'll start by posting a picture that I think takes the cake for being truly disgusting. If anyone's out there...try and trump me. Friendly competition, and we can laugh at the misfortune of others. Oh, the humanity.

Good night, and good luck.

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[03 Jun 2005|11:56pm]

lol it
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surprise, you deserve this. [25 May 2005|09:14pm]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

My interpretation of Robo Comm.
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[20 Apr 2005|11:04pm]

Friday May 06
8pm | $6 | All Ages!
@ Transitions Art Gallery at Skatepark Of Tampa
4215 E Columbus Dr - Tampa - 813.621.6793

gospel is an amazing band!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come see them and us
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To whom it may concern [22 Feb 2005|10:12pm]

[ mood | Who moved my Hompkins Mc Rank? ]

Today was a Terrific Tuesday to say the least, my pet stapler, Sir Lanka Staple, decided that 72 was not a very acceptable table spoon. This prompted my Spainish friend Jose ClicheFace to make tacos. How orginal huh? I mean whats the deal with these guys anyways. You think just cause you can defeat SubZero in the Oxygen bar makes you the worlds best mom? Whats the deal?

One time my lamp didn't turn on when I flipped the switch which THEORITCALLY would in turn, make my lamp go on. BUT SOMETHING WENT WRONG! I eventually discovered that my salad was preheated. This would go on to become the plot of numerous Law and Order Plots.

Thank You for you time.

Please Consider,

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